For Ella's mom, the house is always like a stage for gladiators whenever Ella is to attend one event or the other in school. They're always at loggerheads regarding Ella's choice of dress. Today, to attend a send forth party, she is strapped in a dress that throws both parents into utter confusion. "Why does she like dressing like this? How can we lovingly teach her to dress decently?" They wonder.
As a parent, does that scenario ring a bell? If you are always at loggerheads with your lad and lass over their choice of dress and grooming, you've been fighting Wardrobe Wars with your kids. Sounds funny but it's an issue that has a high potential for becoming volatile if parents do handle it properly. While some go to the extreme of enforcing or imposing what their children wear, other parents are lax enough to allow anything go.
The issue of dressing is like a two-edged sword; each side sharp enough to cut really deep. How so? Just as parents consider their children's dress code as indecent, the youngsters view daddy and mommy's dress sense as too out-of-fashion for the modern child. Thus, no one agrees to being in the wrong; this gives rise to Wardrobe Wars. It's that serious an issue!
This article expounds 5 ways parents can win the 'war' without vanquishing their children.
1. Find a Common Ground
I think the first question is: Is there a common ground at all? Yes! Were you to do a survey on why these young students dress the way they do, your research finding would be that most students who constitute your sample size just follow the trend; their mode of dressing is determined by what the overall population wears - in vogue. Nobody wants to be left out. Nobody wants to be the oddball, thus, your ward follows the trend. To be fair, you also did same in your heydays. What, then, can be the common ground? I, truthfully, can't give a cut-and-dried list of appropriate dressing but if a dress strikes you as inappropriate, then it most likely is. MODESTY is the common ground. Realize and help your child understand that displaying modesty while dressing beautifully and smart is the key.
2. Be Up-to-Date
Following the current trends in kids' fashion is not a bad idea. Granted, it may seem like teaching your kids to follow trends but that's not always the case. Chances are your teenager already knows what's trending, thus, once they know that you understand 'the latest', their excuse of "Mummy and Daddy are old school" holds no water. They tend to trust your judgement when it comes to fashion. This puts you in a better position to help them know how to clad up in what's in vogue without losing the touch of modesty. Staying informed saves you from being taken aback when he/she appears in seemingly outrageous attire. Your child most likely has a taste of style and fashion; especially so if it's a teenager. Why not take note of what interests your kids? Their sense of fashion is still being defined, thus, you can be a part of that process; thereby, saving you future (and more intense) wardrobe wars as they become adults.
3. Know Your Ward
Your child most likely has a taste of style and fashion; especially so if it's a teenager. Why not take note of what interests your kids? Their sense of fashion is still being defined, thus, you can be a part of that process; thereby, saving you future (and more intense) wardrobe wars as they become adults.
4. Explain the Adverse Effects of Bad Dressing
For your girl child, help her understand that she could make herself an object of sexual ridicule due to her dress. Once, a very young girl was stripped by commercial cyclists because she wore a show-me-your-back top and a very suggestive short skirt. But for some women there, she would have gone home in her undies. There are lots of similar cases that didn't end that nicely. Make your daughter realize that she doesn't need such terrible experience to learn decency in dressing. For your boys, imprint in them that dressing like a gangster makes them so, whether they belong or not. So when the negative side of a gangster's life hits them, they should prepare to face it. Many boys have been arrested because they were assumed to be armed robbers. I'm sure they don't want that. Tell your wards stories such as these, not to scare but, to help them grasp the consequences of dressing irresponsibly.
5. 'Dress by Example'
This is something you know already: You can be the greatest influence on your kid's choice of dress. So it follows that if you always dress modestly, your kids will most likely do same.
Conclusively, as a parent, you should understand that your young ones want to look their best. Sometimes, they over or under do it. The thing here is that these youngsters do not consider if what's in vogue is actually socially acceptable or ethically sound; this is where you come in. Really, how fair would it be to force your child into a dress that makes the poor thing look like a child in the Victorian era? On the other hand, you shouldn't be so lax to allow just anything he/she wears. Note that all the ways discussed here require you to get involved with the child, thus: Find a Common ground, Be Up to date, Know Your Child, let them know the Consequences of Bad Dressing and Dress by Example.
Imoh Udoh Iniekpo
Content Executive @ Edusko Africa
This is fine .Thank you very much.
No no 3
The article is okay. I learnt from it
Nice one. Actually, from my own view point, parents set the pace. Reason with the wards instead of imposing hold the ace. Thank you.