No doubt it is becoming ever more challenging to successfully raise well-behaved and disciplined children. In many parts of the world, parents believe that it is all right to spank, shout at, or even hit an erring child.

More recently, however, studies by pediatrics have shown that such ways of disciplining

At some point, every parent will have to find ways to administer discipline to their children. Children are bound to exhibit behaviors that may be irritable.

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Whether it’s a teenager feeling above everyone else or a tantrum-throwing toddler, it could be challenging to discipline a child without being abusive.

But how can a parent discipline a child effectively without spanking or yelling and bring up responsible, disciplined adults? I’ll show you a few easy ways to achieve that in this article.

What is the best way to discipline my child?

1.     Don’t just talk, show it

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Your child will learn more from what you do, so model the discipline you want to see in your child. If you want your child to become thankful, you practice being thankful. Explain to your child simply and calmly what you want them to do.

2.     Set boundaries

When boundaries are set, it becomes easier for a child to know when they go beyond their limits. Even among adults, setting limitations to help everyone know what is expected of them and what will be termed as unacceptable.

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Set reasonable, simple and, clear boundaries for your child in the house. For example, you can set a limitation for TV activities to 7: PM. Make sure you don’t go sneaking to watch your favourite fashion show or anything after that time either.

3.     Set clear consequences for actions

It’s not enough to set boundaries if you want to effectively discipline your child, you need to let them know the consequences of their actions and inactions.

And make sure to stick to the reasonable consequences that you set. For example, the consequences of shouting at a friend might be that they won’t play with them for the rest of the day.

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Ensure behavior consequences you set won’t put your child in harm’s way.

Make sure you stick to set consequences so your child will be deterred from behaving badly the next time you set other limits. Persistence is key.

4.     Be generous with commendation

Don’t be catch-up only noticing the negative behaviour of your child. Your child needs to know when they are doing well too. When they behave well, let them know exactly what they’ve done which is commendable.

Children thrive on commendations not condemnations. This doesn’t mean you should excuse their bad behavior. Just balance things up.

5.     Use the selective response strategy

Children love attention. Sometimes, they tend to behave badly to get the attention of their parents and get them shouting and yelling at them. Don’t fall into that trap! When your child knows that they can easily get you shouting, they will always want to “try you”.

What has worked for some parents is selectively ignoring their kids at times. As long as your child isn't doing something that can cause them harm, you may decide to ignore bad behavior.

It can be an effective way to stop bad behavior and instill discipline. For example, if your child throws his drink away, he will soon be left with nothing to drink.

6.     Let kids lose some privileges

A good deterrent to bad behaviour is the loss of cherished privileges. This strategy would even work for older children and young adults. Again, the aim is not to punish your child but to help them make them behave better and make good choices. Let them know that if they behave in XYZ way, they will lose ABC.

Depending on the age of your child, the lost privileges must be relative to the behavior. For example, if a child doesn’t clean his room, he may lose his privilege to play his favourite game on his phone.

Make sure to state that if they do XYZ, they can regain their privilege. That way, you are not just stopping a bad behavior but helping them see the right thing to do. 

7.     Strengthen your relationship with your child

Spend quality one-on-one time with your child regularly. Engage your child regularly even if it’s 20 minutes or less every day. You can do activities such as cooking, washing the car, eating together, or even doing the laundry together as an opportunity to bond with your child one-on-one.

Do more listening to your child than talking to them at this time. Sometimes, a child’s misbehavior could be like a pattern.

For instance, they may start to act up when it’s time to go to bed or when visitors are around the house. You may want to talk to your child about this rather than just giving consequences.

8.     Take a break

Sometimes, all you need is to take a break and give yourself a few minutes to take some fresh air so you don’t do what you’ll later regret. It’s okay to take a break sometimes and catch your breath away from your child. Just make sure they are not in any danger as you do.

9.     Time-outs

A time-out is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where unacceptable behavior has occurred.

The goal is to remove the child from an enjoyable environment, and therefore lead to the extinction of the offending behavior.

You can send an erring child to a corner in the house to stand or sit for some minutes away from their friends or family member. This action is not meant to inflict punishment on a child but to dissuade them from bad behavior.

Here you have it. Hope you found this useful. Feel free to share with parents disciplines that work for children from your own experiences.

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